The Talk (10 years ago)
We got back to campus on Sunday afternoon just in time to change and go to work in the cafeteria. Thad and I both worked this shift together, however, I was working out front and he was in the dish room, so our responsibilities did not over lap much. I noticed something during the work shift though. Thad was very quiet. He kept to himself washing dishes and didn't talk to me really at all. I spent most of the shift wondering what was wrong and debating on if I should say something. We had just had a great weekend and (in my opinion) an even better drive back...and now he wasn't speaking to me...or anyone for that matter. I decided I wasn't ok with the silent treatment (which is what I interpreted this to be at that time), so I decided we were going to have to talk.
Since I was working out front, I got off work first. Once I was off, I stopped in the dish room and said, "Hey Thad, we need to talk!" He stopped what he was doing and was quiet for a short minute, then he looked at me and said, "Yah, we do." So I told him I would be waiting in the student center.
I sat in the empty student center for what seemed like forever waiting. Really, it was probably only about 20 minutes. There was no school on Monday so there were hardly any students on campus. I sat there thinking of a million different ways to start the conversation when he go there. I didn't really know what to say or where to start...or if I should just wait for him to talk first. Pretty soon, I heard the door down stairs and him coming up.
Thad stopped at the top of the stairs and looked at me from across the room. He took a deep breath, sighed, and then said, "Ok, yah, so I like you." Then he walked over and flopped down in the big over stuffed chair across from me. Obviously, my next sentence was, "I like you too!" From there, things didn't go where I expect them to next. His next sentence was, "But we can't date." My heart fell. I thought this was it, but apparently the timing was still not right yet.
From there, Thad went on to explain that he had made a commitment to not have a girlfriend during his freshman year. I totally understood this as I had made the same commitment my freshman year of college. He had different reasons then I did, but this was totally something that I respected. So we agreed that at this point we were both interested in each other, but we had to keep being just friends. I thought we were wrapping up the conversation when Thad interjected, "actually...technically I won't be a freshman anymore as of May 9th when I take my last final!" He suddenly seemed really excited with the revolation that in less then a month, his no dating commitment would technically be fulfilled and we would be free to start our relationship.
I had been there before though. I had only had 1 boyfriend previously. We had gotten together in May, and broken up at the end of August during my college freshman orientation. The last thing I wanted was for something that I thought was going to be serious to end up like the last relationship almost 2 years ago.
So, I told Thad I didn't think starting a dating relationship May 9th was a good idea. I would be leaving May 11th for Washington for the summer and he would be going home to Montana to start out with. Then he would be traveling all over the northwest with camp team ministering at various Christian camps. I didn't want a long distance relationship, and I didn't want to be a distraction to his ministry.
After discussing this, he agreed that it would be best to wait until the end of August when we came back to school to start a relationship. Now that just left 1 more thing that we needed to talk about. There are forms of physical contact that are normal and appropriate for opposite gender friends, however we both agreed that holding hands was a couple thing, not a friend thing. Though it had been as a joke in the car, we both agreed no more hand holding until we were officially a couple.
So we left that conversation agreeing that everything was the same for a few more months...however, with the knowledge that we both liked each other, the reality was that everything was now completely different!
Since I was working out front, I got off work first. Once I was off, I stopped in the dish room and said, "Hey Thad, we need to talk!" He stopped what he was doing and was quiet for a short minute, then he looked at me and said, "Yah, we do." So I told him I would be waiting in the student center.
I sat in the empty student center for what seemed like forever waiting. Really, it was probably only about 20 minutes. There was no school on Monday so there were hardly any students on campus. I sat there thinking of a million different ways to start the conversation when he go there. I didn't really know what to say or where to start...or if I should just wait for him to talk first. Pretty soon, I heard the door down stairs and him coming up.
Thad stopped at the top of the stairs and looked at me from across the room. He took a deep breath, sighed, and then said, "Ok, yah, so I like you." Then he walked over and flopped down in the big over stuffed chair across from me. Obviously, my next sentence was, "I like you too!" From there, things didn't go where I expect them to next. His next sentence was, "But we can't date." My heart fell. I thought this was it, but apparently the timing was still not right yet.
From there, Thad went on to explain that he had made a commitment to not have a girlfriend during his freshman year. I totally understood this as I had made the same commitment my freshman year of college. He had different reasons then I did, but this was totally something that I respected. So we agreed that at this point we were both interested in each other, but we had to keep being just friends. I thought we were wrapping up the conversation when Thad interjected, "actually...technically I won't be a freshman anymore as of May 9th when I take my last final!" He suddenly seemed really excited with the revolation that in less then a month, his no dating commitment would technically be fulfilled and we would be free to start our relationship.
I had been there before though. I had only had 1 boyfriend previously. We had gotten together in May, and broken up at the end of August during my college freshman orientation. The last thing I wanted was for something that I thought was going to be serious to end up like the last relationship almost 2 years ago.
So, I told Thad I didn't think starting a dating relationship May 9th was a good idea. I would be leaving May 11th for Washington for the summer and he would be going home to Montana to start out with. Then he would be traveling all over the northwest with camp team ministering at various Christian camps. I didn't want a long distance relationship, and I didn't want to be a distraction to his ministry.
After discussing this, he agreed that it would be best to wait until the end of August when we came back to school to start a relationship. Now that just left 1 more thing that we needed to talk about. There are forms of physical contact that are normal and appropriate for opposite gender friends, however we both agreed that holding hands was a couple thing, not a friend thing. Though it had been as a joke in the car, we both agreed no more hand holding until we were officially a couple.
So we left that conversation agreeing that everything was the same for a few more months...however, with the knowledge that we both liked each other, the reality was that everything was now completely different!
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