The beginning (10 years ago)
10 years ago tomorrow was the hike that started mine and Thad's relationship. Before I get into that, I need to share the background leading up to it.
Thad and I met in fall of 2000. We had a lot of classes together but weren't really friends. He sat in the front row of class, was cocky, and thought he knew everything...to the point of arguing with the professors. He was so sure that he was right and they were wrong! I sat in the back row with a couple of my friends, passing notes and laughing about the kid in the front row arguing with the professors.
Over the course of fall semester, somehow Thad ended up hanging out with my group of friends. I really had no interest in him yet, but without having any control over things, we were always together. We worked several of the same shifts in the cafeteria together, had classes together, and he had become friends with my friends so he was always around. During this time, the primary way that I dealt with stress was by running. One evening, after a particularly stressful shift at work, I got back to the dorm and told a friend of mine that I was going for a run. She was concerned about me going running by myself, in the dark, on a campus surrounded by prisons. So she called Thad and told him. As I headed out of the dorm, I ran into Thad, dressed in his running shorts too. I had no interest in having a running partner. He had no interest in letting a girl go run on her own in the dark. So I was left with no choice. I believe that on that first run all we did was run. I was ticked about something and didn't want to talk about it, and he was really just there to make sure I was being safe. Over the next several months however, we became regular running partners. After a while, the runs started to get shorter. We would run a mile or 2, then walk and talk until they locked the dorms at 1 AM. When the runs turned to walks, we started developing a close friendship. I still had no interest in anything beyond a friendship, and I don't think he did either. He was shorter then me, younger then me, skinny, and if he grows his hair out, he is a white guy with an afro! (For the record, he grew about 3 inches between when he started college and when we got married).
In January, (beginning of 2nd semester), I went on a winter college group retreat to the beach. One evening, the group had a bon fire down on the beach, roasted marshmallows, had some praise and worship, etc. Afterword, I found myself walking on the beach with a guy from the group. I new this guy was interested in me, however, unfortunately I did not return his affections. As we were walking along the beach talking, we saw a shooting star! He told me to make a wish. I thought to myself, "That's silly. Wishes don't come true. But prayers can be answered..." Right then and there, I said a silent prayer. I prayed that God would show me who I was suppose to marry. I promised God that if He would just show me who it was, that I would wait for His timing. At the time, I had 3 or 4 guy friends in mind that I thought I could potentially build a life with. It made sense to me that I would end up marrying one of my good guy friends.
Over the next few months, it became a regular prayer of mine for God to show me who I was suppose to marry. I think that deciding to make this request came from my own insecurity. I was worried I would end up alone and just wanted the comfort of knowing who it was, even if I had to wait 5 more years for the right timing. During this time some things changed. A new semester at school meant new classes. Somehow, Thad and I had a lot of classes together again, and almost identical work schedules in the cafeteria. Instead of sitting in the back, I now sat up front with Thad and paid attention. We continued running together (ie - walking and talking), and now started doing some homework together occasionally too.
I believe it was in March of 2001 that my parents went on a trip. I have no clue where they went, but my 2 little sisters came to stay with me in the dorm while they were away. During the week that they stayed with me, Thad took them to class with him when I couldn't. He bought them lunch in the cafeteria. He helped them with their homework. He basically treated them like he would have treated his own little sister, going out of his way to make sure they were taken care of. At the end of the week, my parents came to pick them up. As they were leaving, my 16 year old sister Andrea turned to me and said, "Hey Becky, Thad would make a great brother in law!" 12 year old Sarah said "Yah, we like him." At that moment, A light bulb went on. I honestly felt like I was given revelation from God through my sisters and I knew in my heart that someday, in the distant future, I was going to marry Thad.
Thinking of Thad as anything more then a friend had never occurred to me before that moment. I had some guys in mind who would have made good boyfriends, but he hadn't been on that list. I went back to my dorm room and in the solitude began to pray. Really God? Am I hearing you correctly? This young man who was quickly becoming one of my best friends is going to be my husband? I felt like I needed to explore this more. I really felt that the answer God was giving me was yes, this is my husband. I pulled out a list I had made a year before. It was a list of character traits that I wanted in my future husband. I hadn't looked at it since I wrote it. As I looked down the list, Thad matched every single thing on that list. I had "hard worker" on that list. I worked in the cafeteria with Thad and had seen his incredible work ethic first hand. I had caring and compassionate on the list and I had just seen over the past week how he had gone out of his way to help take care of my sisters. He was everything on my list; I just hadn't recognized what was right in front of my face until this moment. I kept this primarily to myself because I was sure people would laugh if I told them I knew who I was going to marry.
Now came the hard part. After much prayer, I was 100% certain that God had told me that I was suppose to marry Thad. Now I had to follow through on my part of the deal and wait for Gods timing to bring us together as anything more then just great friends. I had no idea if this would be a few months, or several years.
Thad and I met in fall of 2000. We had a lot of classes together but weren't really friends. He sat in the front row of class, was cocky, and thought he knew everything...to the point of arguing with the professors. He was so sure that he was right and they were wrong! I sat in the back row with a couple of my friends, passing notes and laughing about the kid in the front row arguing with the professors.
Over the course of fall semester, somehow Thad ended up hanging out with my group of friends. I really had no interest in him yet, but without having any control over things, we were always together. We worked several of the same shifts in the cafeteria together, had classes together, and he had become friends with my friends so he was always around. During this time, the primary way that I dealt with stress was by running. One evening, after a particularly stressful shift at work, I got back to the dorm and told a friend of mine that I was going for a run. She was concerned about me going running by myself, in the dark, on a campus surrounded by prisons. So she called Thad and told him. As I headed out of the dorm, I ran into Thad, dressed in his running shorts too. I had no interest in having a running partner. He had no interest in letting a girl go run on her own in the dark. So I was left with no choice. I believe that on that first run all we did was run. I was ticked about something and didn't want to talk about it, and he was really just there to make sure I was being safe. Over the next several months however, we became regular running partners. After a while, the runs started to get shorter. We would run a mile or 2, then walk and talk until they locked the dorms at 1 AM. When the runs turned to walks, we started developing a close friendship. I still had no interest in anything beyond a friendship, and I don't think he did either. He was shorter then me, younger then me, skinny, and if he grows his hair out, he is a white guy with an afro! (For the record, he grew about 3 inches between when he started college and when we got married).
In January, (beginning of 2nd semester), I went on a winter college group retreat to the beach. One evening, the group had a bon fire down on the beach, roasted marshmallows, had some praise and worship, etc. Afterword, I found myself walking on the beach with a guy from the group. I new this guy was interested in me, however, unfortunately I did not return his affections. As we were walking along the beach talking, we saw a shooting star! He told me to make a wish. I thought to myself, "That's silly. Wishes don't come true. But prayers can be answered..." Right then and there, I said a silent prayer. I prayed that God would show me who I was suppose to marry. I promised God that if He would just show me who it was, that I would wait for His timing. At the time, I had 3 or 4 guy friends in mind that I thought I could potentially build a life with. It made sense to me that I would end up marrying one of my good guy friends.
Over the next few months, it became a regular prayer of mine for God to show me who I was suppose to marry. I think that deciding to make this request came from my own insecurity. I was worried I would end up alone and just wanted the comfort of knowing who it was, even if I had to wait 5 more years for the right timing. During this time some things changed. A new semester at school meant new classes. Somehow, Thad and I had a lot of classes together again, and almost identical work schedules in the cafeteria. Instead of sitting in the back, I now sat up front with Thad and paid attention. We continued running together (ie - walking and talking), and now started doing some homework together occasionally too.
I believe it was in March of 2001 that my parents went on a trip. I have no clue where they went, but my 2 little sisters came to stay with me in the dorm while they were away. During the week that they stayed with me, Thad took them to class with him when I couldn't. He bought them lunch in the cafeteria. He helped them with their homework. He basically treated them like he would have treated his own little sister, going out of his way to make sure they were taken care of. At the end of the week, my parents came to pick them up. As they were leaving, my 16 year old sister Andrea turned to me and said, "Hey Becky, Thad would make a great brother in law!" 12 year old Sarah said "Yah, we like him." At that moment, A light bulb went on. I honestly felt like I was given revelation from God through my sisters and I knew in my heart that someday, in the distant future, I was going to marry Thad.
Thinking of Thad as anything more then a friend had never occurred to me before that moment. I had some guys in mind who would have made good boyfriends, but he hadn't been on that list. I went back to my dorm room and in the solitude began to pray. Really God? Am I hearing you correctly? This young man who was quickly becoming one of my best friends is going to be my husband? I felt like I needed to explore this more. I really felt that the answer God was giving me was yes, this is my husband. I pulled out a list I had made a year before. It was a list of character traits that I wanted in my future husband. I hadn't looked at it since I wrote it. As I looked down the list, Thad matched every single thing on that list. I had "hard worker" on that list. I worked in the cafeteria with Thad and had seen his incredible work ethic first hand. I had caring and compassionate on the list and I had just seen over the past week how he had gone out of his way to help take care of my sisters. He was everything on my list; I just hadn't recognized what was right in front of my face until this moment. I kept this primarily to myself because I was sure people would laugh if I told them I knew who I was going to marry.
Now came the hard part. After much prayer, I was 100% certain that God had told me that I was suppose to marry Thad. Now I had to follow through on my part of the deal and wait for Gods timing to bring us together as anything more then just great friends. I had no idea if this would be a few months, or several years.
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